Week 39-41:

Ok so I weighed in Friday at 242, a 5 pound drop from last weigh in! That cracks the 80 lb lost mark and leaves me just 22 lbs away from 220! I am starting to get a little more excited now that the final goal is within site. The fire inside of me that was dimming over the past few months is starting to glow brighter again. After The Mudder I intend to really focus on the weight loss and really bear down on controlling the diet. Lately, I've been a little lackadaisical with what I've been eating. I broke my New Year's resolution to not eat fast food until I hit 220, but hey I went three months without any of that garbage so I'm sure I can abstain from it again. It sucks that sometimes our mood affects the way we eat, it is silly that we tie food to emotion. Food is fuel not happiness. It is obvious to me now, since I am more than 75% of the way to my goal, that this issue I have of using food to make me feel better will never be fully conquered. Being aware of it is probably the key to controlling it.

Oh yes, The Tough Mudder is this Sunday and I am getting more and more excited as we get closer. I have trained my big booty off in order to get my cardio endurance as high as I could in preparation. My last long distance run took me to 9 miles, this is longer than the distance of the race but it was all flat running so we'll see if the terrain crushes my optimism. They estimate the total time to complete the course is 2.5 hours so the obstacles will definitely give some moments of "rest" from the running. Hopefully, I can find a picture taking friend so I can share some pics of the event with you.

While talking with friends this week, I realized that I didn't do something I had intended on doing a month ago so I'll share it with you now. A month ago or so I had a doctor appointment (mostly about the depression stuff) and while there I got the results of some "after" blood work that further prove how much healthier I am now. The original numbers are from October of 2008.

• Triglycerides 183 dropped to 80 (less than 150 is norm)
• Total Cholesterol 214 dropped to 171 (less than 200 is norm)
• HDL (good) 33 rose to 44 (40-50 is norm)
• LDL (bad) 144 dropped to 111 (100-129 near optimal, less than 100 is optimal)
• Glucose 108 dropped to 99 (less than 100 is norm)

Pretty much all of these levels were in the borderline high risk ranges 18 months ago and now everything, except LDL, falls with their normal ranges. Its amazing what a little hard work and better diet can do.

Now in case your wondering about how I am doing with that other stuff, I am doing just fine! I think I am finally back to being me and have put my mess behind me now. Sure, I still have my little moments when I think about her and wish things would have worked out differently and wonder where things could be right now if it all went as planned, but they aren't affecting my daily life anymore. I definitely know that I feel better about how I am interacting with people again and I'm smiling a little more these days.