Wow, it really seems like a long time between posts since I've decided to do this every two weeks. I actually almost forgot about doing it this week. Anyways....weighed in on Saturday after my 6 mile run, lol I know, 6 miles who would have ever thought I'd say that, and the scaled showed 246 this time. 3 more pounds gone and lost forever! That brings the total to 76 friggin' pounds! I'm only 26 pounds away from that goal of 220, I still struggle to wrap my head around the magnitude of the whole thing.
Lately I have not been very UNappreciative of the congratulations and well wishes that have been passed onto me. I'm sorry to any of you that felt slighted for giving me praises and did not receive the appropriate thanks. Part of it for me, I guess, is that I know that I'm not at my goal yet, and it feels a bit premature to celebrate my accomplishment. Having once gone through a big weight loss stretch before, I know that there is plenty of potential for failure even at this point. While I don't think I can be derailed this time, especially if I'm still losing weight in my current mood, I do understand your sentiment and intentions, but there is that piece of me that wants to say "hold your applause until the end." The other reason would be my mood/mental state. Yes I'm still struggling to put that awful day behind me. I'm doing everything I can to get by it all, including some things I never thought I would do. I can't explain why I'm letting this linger; I just know I hurt because of my actions and I just can't seem to forgive myself for them. Maybe its because I never have done anything like that before. I have always buried my feelings and swallowed my pains in order to avoid hurting someone's feelings. I just need a way to move on. Thanks to all of my really special friends who have tried so hard to pull me out of my mood. Even if it may not seem it, I do listen to everything you have to say and I want you to know I'm trying. Believe me when I say I do appreciate the support even if I seem ungrateful right now and that goes for everyone.
I did go out to do some shopping a couple of weeks ago, and for the first time since probably high school I actually bought clothes from one of those "trendy" mall stores. I don't know if you've ever noticed but places like the Gap and American Eagle don't exactly cater to the big folks. Bought a few pretty cool LARGE t-shirts, yeah thats right not XL but L. Also needed some shorts because I have none the even come close to fitting any more. I was super stoked when I grabbed a pair of size 40 cargo shorts and they were WAY to loose, hahaha! So I can cross off another of my bigger goals from the list and that goal was to wear pants/shorts smaller than size 40. The shorts I bought are a size 38!!! Very cool, indeed. I've tried to jog my brain but all the alcohol between high school and now have fuzzied my memory; I have no idea when I last wore pants this small. Anyone wanna bet I can get to a 34??
Now that spring has sprung you all have no excuse but to get your buts out there and do something to improve your health. Take the kids on a bike ride, go for a walk with your girl/guy, just go do something!
Here is something that has been bouncing around in my mind but I don't really know how to pursue it. I would love some advice from anyone who may have an idea. Once I have completely gotten myself out of the "obese" category, which they say I still am even though I can run six miles in under an hour (grumble...stupid body mass index what do you know), I would like a way to get actively involved with breaking the obesity cycle that is destroying so many lives. I know that I am a fat kid because my parents fed me bad foods and never really got any kind of healthy living education. I became aware of this one day when my niece came over after school. There were donuts on the counter in the kitchen and when she saw them she said "I so deserve this donut." I thought 'wow really? Who deserves a donut?' and proceeded to discuss with her why she thought she deserved a donut. That kind of mentality she displayed only leads to weight issues. I never really thought about how poorly we use food until that moment. I have also seen it when my mother is babysitting the grandkids, the typical meal involves some combo of the following: french fries, hot dogs, ring bologna, Doritos, and pizza. I have always teased my mom that it is her fault that I was fat, but I was always referring to how good her cooking is, not the nutritional quality or lack there of. There is a cycle that needs to be broken in order to save kids from the fate that I have suffer through. Part of it is getting parents to understand what they are doing to their kids by letting McD's become there favorite food group and the other part is motivating kids to learn about nutrition and get them exercising. Sorry I started getting preachy again, but anyone of you have asked for my help know that I can get rather passionate about this weight loss thing and helping those that want it. This is something I really think I could become heavily involved with if I can find a way. If you have any thoughts as to how to get myself into this please let me know.
Hey Jeff. I really appreciate what you said about how we feed our kids and what our parents fed us. So much of weight gain is just ignorance of nutrition and mindless eating. If you haven't seen it, Jamie Oliver has a new show on tv called Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. He's trying to change the eating habits of Americans and especially kids both at home and at school to fight obesity. Your interaction with your niece is exactly the type of thing that he is trying to do with kids. Maybe you need to start a food revolution in Fleetwood. Keep up your efforts and know that you are inspiring to others.
ReplyDeleteMichele Obama is trying to do the nutrition eduication and there is a huge budget increase in food edu for kids this year, I would look around and see if there is any grant $...
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