It is hard to believe that it has been nearly three months since my last posting. In all honesty, I really needed to step away from this blog until I was able to right my emotional state. I was in a very, very bad place since my dad's passing. It wasn't so much the grief of his death but the continual beating I have seemed to have been taking all year long had me worn out. I had finally given up on fighting back. My passion and drive for this goal was completely gone. For the past four or five months, I've been pretty much just going through the motions of life as I waited for the next shoe to drop. Thankfully, the past couple of months have gone without any negativity and with that I am ready to get re-focused on me.
Because I wanted to start writing again, I decided to re-read all of my blog entries in order to regain the spirit of why I was writing. Lots of emotion was stirred up over the past two or three hours as I smiled because my joys and accomplishments and bemoaned some of my bad behavior. Before setting out on re-reading my postings I was well aware that this week marked an ugly anniversary. One year ago this week I began this year that can only be described as 'calamitous' by regrettably posting an entry to this blog that was intentionally hurtful and ruined a friendship. Maybe the Karma gods punished me over this past year for that post, but that year is now officially over and it is time to once again pick myself up in Rocky-like fashion, all bloodied from this brutal year and start swinging again.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward." from Rocky Balboa watch it here:
So with all that being said welcome back to my diet blog. The goals are still the same, 220 pounds and to run an Olympic triathlon. I have already signed up for Tough Mudder in April at Bear Creek, they've lengthened the course to 9+ miles and by all accounts their events are indeed tougher. The one in Jersey actually had an obstacle in which you had to run through a patch of LIVE WIRES dangling like jellyfish tentacles!!! I have re-upped my contract at Body Zone and have added the pool to my membership. Also got the number of a swim coach as I have never learned proper swimming form, so tri training can begin in earnest now!
My first weigh in of the new blog year is a positive one. Over the past two weeks I have managed to drop 7 pounds as I have finally gotten my self-discipline back and have managed to stick to the diet plan whole-heartedly. The weight as of this moment is 272, I will not lament the fact that this is 30 pounds heavier than I was at my best. In order to be successful I must allow myself to forgive and forget this past year. I have 50 pounds to lose regardless of what I weighed in May last year. That doesn't matter anymore, my battery is recharged (thanks Mary when you used 'recharge' in Spin I knew I was gonna steal the concept) and I'm back in the fight!!
My wounds will heal with time and prosperity. I will be successful, I promise you that. I will make 2011 a much better year.
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