Ok update time

Today I weighed in at 269. There is progress beginning to take shape once again. That make 10 pounds since the new year and the rebirth of this project. I am actually a lil disappointed by the weigh in because I have developed the nasty habit of stepping on the scales at work every day and at one point this week I was down to 265. So I had high hopes for this weigh in report, but we have to settle for 269 this time. By the way, it is a terribly bad habit to weigh yourself more than once a week if you are trying to drop some weight. What I have learned over the past year and a half is that weight loss is a fickle SOB. The negative reinforcement of bad weigh ins are much more damaging than positivity of good ones and in many cases your daily weight is affected by other factors such as water retention. Remember that you can't be discourage over a bad weigh in or two, if you are eating healthy and working out diligently the weight WILL drop.

Since our last chat, I have begun swimming at the gym. In my last blog I told you I was gonna start, well this time I'm telling you, HOLY JEBUS, SWIMMING IS HARD! The first time I got into the pool to swim I didn't make it one length of the pool (25yds) without needing a lifeguard. lol just kidding there, but I really didn't make it the whole way. Humbling, to say the least. Later that week I met with Warren the swim coach and found out that my first big problem was that I wasn't breathing enough and that was leading to my early exhaustion. He commented that there was a real good base to work with as it pertained to my form. My two biggest areas of concerns are that I am getting no propulsion from my kick and my butt sinks into the pool to deep which causes extra drag in the water. I would have thought my big booty would float better. Swimming is gonna take a lot of work to get better at, that's for sure. As for some of the other stuff, since I started swimming my hamstring issue has seemed to fade away. I am back pushing real hard in Spin and I ran 3.5 miles on the treadmill. This weekend I'll try to tack on another half mile.

From a diet standpoint, I am doing much better controlling what I eat, but I still have my bad meal every now and then. I need to really try to force myself to eliminate these "cheating" meals and save them for my diet day off. Thanks to fellow Spinner, Don, I am gonna start tracking my daily meals again, but this time I will use the website suggested by Don www.fitday.com to help me plot out my numbers and see how I am doing. Do it for a week and you may be in for an eye opener! Potentially the diet may suffer over the next couple of weekends as this Saturday is Tubefest and next weekend I'm planning on heading to OCMD for the first beach trip of the year, and oh yeah its my birthday that weekend too.....gift cards to Dick's Sports are fine .

Well gotta go and get ready for work, ugh.....ttyl!

I'm back!

It is hard to believe that it has been nearly three months since my last posting. In all honesty, I really needed to step away from this blog until I was able to right my emotional state. I was in a very, very bad place since my dad's passing. It wasn't so much the grief of his death but the continual beating I have seemed to have been taking all year long had me worn out. I had finally given up on fighting back. My passion and drive for this goal was completely gone. For the past four or five months, I've been pretty much just going through the motions of life as I waited for the next shoe to drop. Thankfully, the past couple of months have gone without any negativity and with that I am ready to get re-focused on me.

Because I wanted to start writing again, I decided to re-read all of my blog entries in order to regain the spirit of why I was writing. Lots of emotion was stirred up over the past two or three hours as I smiled because my joys and accomplishments and bemoaned some of my bad behavior. Before setting out on re-reading my postings I was well aware that this week marked an ugly anniversary. One year ago this week I began this year that can only be described as 'calamitous' by regrettably posting an entry to this blog that was intentionally hurtful and ruined a friendship. Maybe the Karma gods punished me over this past year for that post, but that year is now officially over and it is time to once again pick myself up in Rocky-like fashion, all bloodied from this brutal year and start swinging again.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward." from Rocky Balboa watch it here:


So with all that being said welcome back to my diet blog. The goals are still the same, 220 pounds and to run an Olympic triathlon. I have already signed up for Tough Mudder in April at Bear Creek, they've lengthened the course to 9+ miles and by all accounts their events are indeed tougher. The one in Jersey actually had an obstacle in which you had to run through a patch of LIVE WIRES dangling like jellyfish tentacles!!! I have re-upped my contract at Body Zone and have added the pool to my membership. Also got the number of a swim coach as I have never learned proper swimming form, so tri training can begin in earnest now!

My first weigh in of the new blog year is a positive one. Over the past two weeks I have managed to drop 7 pounds as I have finally gotten my self-discipline back and have managed to stick to the diet plan whole-heartedly. The weight as of this moment is 272, I will not lament the fact that this is 30 pounds heavier than I was at my best. In order to be successful I must allow myself to forgive and forget this past year. I have 50 pounds to lose regardless of what I weighed in May last year. That doesn't matter anymore, my battery is recharged (thanks Mary when you used 'recharge' in Spin I knew I was gonna steal the concept) and I'm back in the fight!!

My wounds will heal with time and prosperity. I will be successful, I promise you that. I will make 2011 a much better year.

I'm Done Here

I am putting an end to blogging for awhile, probably a long while, as I decided that I am no longer gonna continue to spew the miserable accounts of my current mood/situation here or on facebook. It was never my intention to use this blog to bitch and moan about my life. This past year has been difficult to say the least and maybe it is fair to say that I am allowed to complain, but after events that occurred this week it is plain to me that nothing productive is coming from using my blog as a place to whine and that it has probably become tiresome for some of you to read. I am fully aware that some of you have had bigger struggles and that we ALL have our struggles that we deal with daily. I don't want to seem like I think that my problems are bigger than yours by transcribing them for you anymore. Furthermore, it was never my intention to inspire anyone with what I was doing and in a way I feel that I am letting you down as I have lost most of the fight that was within me when I started this all. I don't know how this blog morphed into more than a weekly diet journal and became something larger than anticipated. I wish I could turn the switch and be back to the happy, more driven Duff, but the wind has been taken out of those sails and every time I feel like I get it back something comes up that ruins it. I am trying to heed my own advice and break my goals down into smaller incremental tasks but I am struggling to go a week without cheating in some way or another and it has gotten incredibly frustrating to update you with failure.

I am going to continue to pursue that goal that I have set for myself, and it is still my intention to enter a triathlon next spring. However, for now, I have bigger fish to fry. I also don't expect to be spending much time on FB anymore either but you can still get in touch with me via FB since I still have it forwarding stuff to my regular email addy.

So for the last time, I weighed in at the doctor's office today at 267. Still short of the goal by 47, but a loss of 55 pounds since the start. I am proud of what I've been able to accomplish and it gives me the confidence that I can do what is necessary to reach my goal, but right now I have a bigger fight I need to focus on.

Thank you for caring enough to tag along throughout this journey. Best of wishes to you all.

Duff